Merry Christmas, John Hudspith!
How would you describe your Christmas in only three words?
John: Merry. Bloated. Family.
If you could have a relationship with a literary festive character who would it be and why?
John: Sally Skellington. I’d have her in stitches. Or maybe Mrs Claus. Santa only comes once a year. I reckon she’d be grateful.
If you had to exist for a week in a Christmas story … which one would it be?
John: Maybe It’s a Wonderful Life – partly so I could experience being black and white. And partly to enjoy being mesmerised by James Stewart’s Donald Duck voice whilst crying at the beautiful side of humanity. But then again that chick in Gremlins is pretty hot. Yeah, give me Gremlins instead.
John: I have over fifty writers on my books, hardworking creatives producing great work and keeping me entertained. I’d hire a castle and invite every one of them to a one hundred course meal dished up by pirates and wenches. We’d have jesters, burlesque dancers, and pigs on spits, and the party would spill outside (where obviously it’s snowing – the big fluffy kind) and there’d be ice cream trucks, stalls with roasting chestnuts and oven baked potatoes served up by kidnapped carol singers silenced with ball gags, and set amid thousands of twinkling fairy lights. Ho – ho – ho!
If you had to write a Christmas themed story in your current genre, what would the title be?
John: The Christmas Chainsaw Massacre or Santa does Dallas
What do you dislike the most about Christmas?
John: Commercial tat made by far away children paid coppers, shunted to our shores via monster vessels leaving carbon footprints the size of China, and sold for ten times more than it cost to make. Instead, use that money to do something worthwhile: plant an MP, save a chicken, do an hour less work, that kind of thing.
John Hudspith was in the Christmas chair. Author & Editor.